BY UZMA ZAFAR
A girl gets married with so many dreams in her eyes. She might be an artist, a photography lover, a music enthusiast or a nature lover but when she gets married, after a couple of years, she totally forgets who she was and what she liked. Well, that’s totally understandable as through time, everything including priorities change. But the fact remains that around a woman, everything remains just the same, only she changes with every passing moment and if she doesn’t, she is forced to change, compelled by father, brother, boyfriend or husband!
All through her life, a lot is going through her mind but a girl is tamed in such a way that she is not allowed to share her views or thoughts nor her sentiments about a certain issue. She is trained most of the time, directly and indirectly, to keep her feelings bottled up inside her. All through her life, she fights many battles, some on the outside but mostly within herself, to speak or not to speak and in the end, morals win and she loses the battle with herself, at times by sacrificing her life in the way!
In a society where men consider women as their property as if they have the right to mould her just as they fancy, where the woman does not have the right to voice her sentiments what to say of the intent, where a woman is not even considered an individual but an extension of a male, where she is not even allowed to take a single breath with her own intent, there of course slogans like ‘Mera Jism Meri Marzi’ would not be tolerated as sane and those raising it would be called ugly names like it’s been done these days!
And to top it all, the worst thing is that in everything, our so-called educated illiterates bring religion in the issue. Well, men, go and read the Holy Book again and this time with proper translation, understanding and an open mind. Our religion has given many rights to woman, if only someone understands it. When a woman becomes a mother, Heavens are laid under her feet. And it’s the moment when she gives birth as the process of childbirth is life threatening itself, all her previous sins are forgiven. When will the men realize that Eve was born out of Adam’s rib not his feet! Without Eve, Adam was lonely! So, both men and women have a role to play in a society, not just men alone!
When a woman gets pregnant, she is going through a multitude of emotions that a man can never understand. She is willing to go to every measure just to give birth to a new life! But here, our society’s so called in-laws start torturing her by saying that you have to give birth to a boy only. If only boys are born in a society, who would you marry your sons too? And mostly, mother-in-laws are the ones who put these thoughts in their husband’s mind. Sonography is not allowed in Islam and it is illegal too to check the gender of the unborn. But the gender is checked and in many cases, if it’s a girl, the fetus is aborted. Is that permitted in the religion? It’s part of the mother’s body, her chlld. Why can’t she have a say in this regard. It’s her body and should be her choice!
In usually lower class, woman are treated as reproducing machines. Just to reproduce a son, so many daughters are born who are mistreated by the father as he only loves his son, let that be only one after five daughters and the son remains the only center of attraction for everyone at home. The maternal health of the woman as a mother is deteriorated with every passing day yet after childbirth, and right after it, she is expected to do all the home chores along satisfying every need of her husband also. Why cant she have a choice over her body? Is that such a vulgar slogan?
it is her body which is burnt to ashes, mutilated, traded , caroded, raped and gang raped. She is victim of marriage to Quran, vani, karokari, her nose, nose and body parts are chopped, she is bartered for animals or piece of lands, forced into or bounded in child marriage . Innocent milk-suckling children are snatched away from the mothers after divorce which the male thinks he has the right to give any time he likes. Horrible wife abuses are going on like battering and the sexual harassment. Beasts have inserted iron rods, pepper and electricity in their wives’ private parts and much more horrible things which can’t even be stated in a single article! Why do we tell our daughters that only their dead body would come from their hubby’s home as they are getting married. Do we mean it all literally!
It is high time that we empower our girls to such an extent that they get proud about who they are, not ashamed! And mothers, if you cannot share your darling boys with another woman, please don’t get them married at all! A woman is not a showpiece, nor a doormat, to be used, reused and then conveniently forgotten that it even exists where it exists! A woman is an individual, with her own set of mind, body, heart and soul! And nobody has the right to break her spirit, body or mind! If only this mindset is adopted, a whole lot of mess would not be created and we all would live in peace! Proud of the slogan; ‘Mera Jism Meri Marzi’, og yeah; ‘Mera Jism, Meri Hi Marzi!’ It was high time that this slogan be changed around! Enough is enough!
