Tale of a Pigeon and a Monkey


By Makhdoom Babar

Arrested RAW officer Kulbhoshan Jadhev has told interrogators that at RAW headquarters, his code name for operations in Pakistan via Iran was ‘Monkey’. He also told Pakistani authorities that if they had to make RAW officials believe that Pakistanis have arrested their officer, they must tell them by a message coded as “we have got your monkey”.

A few months back, Indians earned global humiliation when they claimed that they had arrested a Pigeon that was an ISI agent, sent from Pakistan to India to do spying. It was not a blooper or a joke but it was claimed at the highest official level and very seriously reported by Indian media. In fact the said Pigeon was taken into ‘custody’ by Indian Police and RAW authorities via a formal ‘arrest’ and both Indian police and its intelligence officials of RAW conducted ‘scientific interrogations’ with the poor Pigeon, saying that there could be a very strong possibility of presence of a ‘transmitter’ or ‘secret cameras’, ‘installed’ by ISI inside the said Pigeon. However, after earning maximum of shame and embarrassment all over the world, Indians finally opted to hush-up the matter.

Now after many months of that global embarrassment of Indian via claiming of arresting a Pigeon spy from ISI, the ISI has actually arrested the Monkey Spy from RAW. But unfortunately for RAW and the Indian media, this Monkey is no bird or animal but a living human being who is a commissioned officer of Indian Navy with the ranks of Navy Commander and has confessed of being on deputation on RAW. He has confessed all the tasks that were given to him by RAW bosses.

While the poor ISI Pigeon could not make any confession and remained miserably unable to reveal any ISI secrets to the Indians, the RAW Monkey has very fluently revealed the past and future plans of RAW against Pakistan and especially against CPEC. Not only this but defeating ISI pigeon by a very wide margin in ‘spill the beans’ contest has also disclosed certain high profile secrets of Indian Navy and its plans against regional Navy Forces from Chahbahar etc. The poor Pigeon could not tell the Indians what was his original name, Designation and code name and that how he entered into India but the smart Monkey of RAW has very continently narrated everything, even without being asked to. Similarly when the poor Pigeon could make his snapshots only in entire Indian media, the smart Monkey got an opportunity to give a proper Video interview and subsequently got immense coverage of his interview at almost every TV Channel of the planet earth.

When the Indians announced that they had arrested ISI Pigeon, Pakistan High Commission or Pakistan’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs did not utter a single word over it and by no means sought any Consular access to the arrested Pigeon. However on the other side, the moment Pakistan told relevant Indian authorities that “ WE HAVE GOT YOUR MONKEY”, the next moment Indian Ministry of External Affairs, Indian High Commission in Islamabad and the entire Indian media started demanding Consular access to the arrested Monkey, stating that this access must be provided since the arrested Monkey was Indian national.

It appears that RAW has adopted a policy of codenaming its officers on foreign tasks as different birds and animals as is evident from Kulbhushan’s confession, they must have thought that perhaps ISI is also following the same practice and thus once the news of the arrest of Pigeon from Pakistan landed at RAW headquarters at New Delhi, the RAW officials wasted no time in concluding that the Pigeon must be an ISI agent and very continently leaked the said info to the entire national media as a breaking news.

The Daily Mail very strongly believes that Indian intelligence and Indian media has gone so shameless and unprofessional in accusing Pakistan and ISI for everything that goes wrong in any part of India that they even did not spare the innocent birds of dragging to this dirty game of baseless accusations but even with this exercise, they could never establish any credible proof of ISI involvement in any objectionable activity in India while Pakistan has very successfully done by the episode of arresting serving officer of RAW and that too without organizing any drama and without adding any spice to the actual events.

The Daily Mail believes that there is enough for RAW and its followers in Indian media to learn something out of this historic tale of a Pigeon and a Monkey.